Somebody's Daughter

My son will be getting married soon, and we are excited over the coming event.  But in my case, is there also some trepidation, along with the excitement?  A strange girl, somebody’s daughter, is going to come into my house, be a part of our lives, of our household.  But somewhere in my mind, there are some reservations, some rejections, even a twinge of jealousy, or fear, or prejudice.  Do they all combine to put up a fence?  I will accept her as my son’s wife, but will I accept her as my daughter?  Or will I draw a line at that?

What was about a son being your son, till he got himself a wife?  Will my son, who is going to be hitched to a wife soon, become alienated from us, creating an island for himself and his wife?  Will I find I am pushed to the periphery?  Will this girl put a spoke in the wheel of our kinship?   Will she be an unknown quantity, a disintegrating factor?  Get thee behind me satan – perish the thought.

Yet come to think about it how will she adjust to our home, our family, our routine, our way of life?  Will she keep comparing things, to how it is in her home?  Compare me to her mother? Think her mother is an Angel, and I a witch?  And how do we start building a rapport!  Like we all sit down for  breakfast, and I pass her the jam   and say, “I hope you like jam, My son, you know, has a sweet tooth”. And she smiles, as sweetly  as the jam, but inwardly she fumes- what the heck? Does the woman feel I should like all the things her son does?  And my mother makes better jam anyway.

Like two kids in a kindergarten, will we quietly take each other’s measure, wanting to be friends, but not knowing how, or like a cat and a dog, will we be wary of each other?  Can I receive this girl, who is somebody’s daughter and is going to cross my threshold, with open arms?  Anyway, never being a demonstrative person maybe literally I won’t, and figuratively I can’t.  And on the other side of the side of the fence, how will she feel, how will she react?  Does she have nightmares thinking of me as a witch with a broom?If I am putting up a mental block against her , is she, in turn, doing likewise?  So that on the wedding day, we smile, but face each other like gladiators in a ring?  I ponder over the shape of things to come, and wonder which way the wind will blow in the days to come when this strange girl who is somebody’s daughter enters my home.

Then, suddenly like a flash across my inward eye, the cobweb is removed.  That was the stumbling block.  That expression that had coalesced in my mind like a cancer.  Somebody’s daughter.  Maybe.  But as my son’s wife, my daughter as well.  The equation was as simple as that.  Not an outsider but an insider.  Not a stranger, but a kin.  Sure enough, there may be adjustments to  be made, priorities to be settled.  But no cause for us to lock our horns in battle.  Now I know, I’ll smile on the wedding day – a smile that is straight from the heart.  Nor will my nails be velvet claws when I welcome this girl into our hearth and home.